The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Silvs flips a 2NE1* lightstick in her paws and wears a 2010s emo outfit (yes) as she sings I Am The Best at the top of her lungs.
“GUYS, I AM CREATING A 2NE1 SIDE. WHOEVER WANTS TO JOIN CAN JOIN. Also, it doesn’t matter if you are in catnip side or crayon side or triple h. This will just be a fan group for 2NE1 hehe”
*fyi, 2NE1 is a k-pop girl group that lasted from 2009 to 2014.
“ANNOUNCEMENT!” Jeffireson yells to the Hazelpage. “I AM NOT IN THE CATNIP ARMY ANYMORE, I AM ON TRIPLE-H’S SIDE!!!”
Edit: Page flippy!
Flamilton gasps. “hOORAY! HURRAH! SPLENDIFEROUS! MAGICTASTICAL!” they start running around, hurling magictastical backflipping rubber ducks everywhere and yelling at the top of their lungs. “HA! YA HEAR THAT, CATNIP!” they grin even wider and hurl a Hamilcake at the Catnip Army, the cake splatting in one of the members’ faces.
Silvs dodged and the cake crashed into the wall. “I don’t really think she was ever in the catnip army….? She’s on cheese side I guess though-“
ok
Captain’s stomach rumbled as she cautiously crept into Hazel’s Tavern, warily sniffing around. She was well aware of the dangers indicated by the Hazelpage, but she also knew that there was business to attend to. Glancing around, she approached one of the customers and cleared her throat.
“Excuse me, friend. Can you explain what’s happening around here? It seems awfully busy.”
“Howdy, Captain!” Icemeadow exclaims as he turns around to greet Falconstorm. “Welcome to the Hazelpage! Right now, there’s a massive war going on between the…” He pauses, trying to remember all of the sides. He shrugs. “I’ve lost track of the sides at this point. I know there’s the catnip side (the best side,) the Triple-H side, which is a combination of Hazbin Hotel and Hamilton, the Cheese side, the Fries side, and Silvs over there has recently started a side for the K-Pop group 2NE1. I know there was once a The Amazing Digital Circus side, a Star Wars side, and a Crayon side, but I can’t tell if they’re still around. Assuming I haven’t forgotten anyone (which I probably have,) that makes an Octagon!” He exclaims excitedly. “Speaking of Octagons, would you be interested in joining the Catnip side? We have free cookies and I’ll make you your favorite food with my supernaturally good cooking powers!”
TADC side still exists (I think)
“Oh… well. It looks like you’ve got trouble. Of course, I’ve come to expect this with the Hazelpage.” she meowed. “Let me come back to you when I pick a side, alright?”
I started a Kahoot vs Blooket war!
Cheeso leaps in aesthetically, throwing cheese sticks to Captain cutely “it’s mind of just a war of Catnippers vs Triple H and cheese vs Fries! which side are you on?” She blabbered cutely ” because I’m on the cheese side! YoudBetterJoinTheCheeseSideOrIWillStealYourSnacks”
Captain grabs a cheese snack. “This is rather tempting…” she muses, but shakes her head.
Now, what are you thinking? You cannot join a side.
“I will consider it, but it’s not a concrete answer”, she decides. “Thank you for the snacks, though!”
“Alright.. Just don’t join those fry fans! They eat pineapple on pizza!” She’d glance around, incase a fry was listening. ” hopefully they don’t hear that”
Captain’s fur bristles. “Pineapple on pizza!”, she spats. “The audacity of some folks…”
chaos
Captain nods. “Why, I should’ve expected that.”
Flamilton materializes out of thin air to greet Cap. “WELL HELLO, MY FRIEND!” Flamilton grins, shoving Icy and Cheeso out of the way. “Yeah yeah, they explained it OKAY I guess, BUT we all know that the Triple-H’s are BY FAR supreme! Would you care to join?” they grin, gesturing to a 40-foot pile of cookies. “We have even more of those at the H-Tower, just ask Foamy!”
Silvs pushes Flam out of the way, and reveals that the triple h cookies were just made with a hologram. “Join the catnip side if you want REAL cookies and waffles!” /lh
Captain’s whiskers twitched in amusement. “Why, I don’t know much about Hazbin, but I am a bit of a theatre kid, myself! Let me think about your offer…” she mewed cryptically.
Darth Fallowfrie literally just stands there and yeets fries at Captain
Captain accepts the fry offerings and consumes every single one. She scowls. “Hm. Needs more salt.”
real
Silvs hurls a bunch of hypnotizing catnip waffles and catnip cookies into triple-h members’ mouths. “FEEL THE WRATH OF CATNIP”
Flamilton looks up from where xe’s doing xer Duolingo. “¡No, gracias!” xe smile before hurling NORMAL BEAUTIFUL WAFFLES at Silvy.
“GIMME SOME” Cheeso randomly popped out of her cheese mountain
Silvs gives Chi some catnip waffles and cookies, and mozzarella cheese sticks.
Darth Fallowfrie yeets fries back. ‘FEEL THE WRATH OF FRIES!!!’
Silvs catches the fries in her mouth then yeets cheese sticks into fallow’s mouth.
“NUH UH” Cheeso yells, and with her giga chad power yeets the fries back with chez sticks
Jeffireson dodges the catnip waffles. She stands up from where she was eating cheese and crosses the Hazelpage to Silvs. “Why can’t you catnip people eat regular waffles? Now, here – ” Jeffireson turns on Hamilton on a nearby TV – “FEEL THE WRATH OF HAMILTON!”
Silvs just stared blankly at the tv before turning away to grab some more catnip waffles and yeets them at Fi.
Then she changed the tv to play MLP.
“Not so fast, Silvs!” Fi yells and changed the TV to Hamilton again. She steals Silvs’s catnip waffles when Silvs is not looking and stuffs them in the trash.
Silvs magically disppears to go change her display name (BECAUSE SHE IS NOW A WARRIOR).
Edit: DRAT. It still won’t let me change my display name :(((
(HAHHAHAH OC TIME TWISTED I’M COPYING YOUUUU)
Apollo slowly opened the door to the large room, quickly greeted by a bunch of recruiters to separate armies. Clover was close behind.
“FOAMPAWWW! WHERE ARE YOU?” Apollo yelled, the golden retriever mix pushing out of the crowd to find her.
Foampaw bounded over to the two, handing them Hamilton T-Shirts and Husker plushies.
“I’ve been waiting forever!” Foampaw exclaimed. “I hope the traveling between pocket dimensions went well? :D”
“You seem more cheerful than usual..” Apollo commented.
“Where in the f-“ Clover was interrupted by Foampaw’s tail covering his mouth.
“Clover, you can’t swear here! You’ll get me banned! Anyway, let me explain. There’s a huge war going on, and you’re on the Triple-H side with me. That stands for Hazbin Hotel and Hamilton. The the orange cat over there is Flam, he’s our leader, and there’s a bunch of other cats I want you to meet, and a couple wolves.”
“Wolves?” Clover shouted. “Don’t tell me they eat rabbits, right?”
“Chillax.” Apollo told him. “Even if they did, we’d fight them off. Although it would be nice to see some other canines. There’s so much yowling in here!”
“Yeah, I think the wolves are on Blog Break right now.” Foampaw explained. “But they’ll be back soon, I hope. They’re in another army, though.”
“What the he- uh, heck’s a Blog break? AND IS THAT CHEESE??” Clover asked.
“Not important.” Foampaw told him, but the trio was interrupted by someone…
(OC TIME AS WELL!)
Magnolia bounded back into the hazelpage and looked around. “Wait- chaos are STILL going on??” She shook her fur out and glanced at where Silverpaw was yeeting catnip waffles everywhere and then a hamilton poster hit Magnolia and knocked down the she-wolf.
“WHO IN THE STARS JUST THREW THAT??” Magnolia growled.
Then Magnolia spotted Foami and a golden retriever dog and bounded over to them. “Uh- hi! Watch out for chao- AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” then a deluge of catnip waffles hit her and she glared up at Silverpaw. “STOP THAT!! I’m going to GET YOU, YOU LITTLE-” and she bounded off.
Flamilton pauses bombarding the Catnip and TADC Armies with water balloons to appear out of thin air next to Foamy and Company ( 😛 ). “Well hello there, you wayward sinners!” /ref he smiles, greeting the Hazelpage’s newest arrivals. “I’m Alexander Flamilton, I’m at your service, sirs!” /ref He pauses. “Ya know, that sounds a little weird,” he thinks out loud, being the embodiment of the nerd emoji for the next 50 seconds. “I feel like it kind of loses some of its magictasticalness when it’s plural! Sinners, sirs…” he shrugs, the nerdiness vanishing back into chaoticness. “Eh, whatever! Like I always say! The more Triple-H Army members, the merrier!”
clover stalks in, wearing black cargos, fingerless gloves and a blue georgenotfound hoodie bcuz i’m a simp, magically holding a whole pc gaming set agressively. “aight, everyone! what’s going on here? should i be concerned? also am i allowed to make arson jokes?” *sits down and starts gaming while sobbing bcuz i saw a technoblade video and now i’m sad* *gets 12-0 bedwars kill to death ratio OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
“You should be veeeery concerned!” Flamilton smiles spookily before skipping away merrily to bombard the nearest Catnip soldier with Husk plushies.
“noted. speaking of catnip, what are the sides and which one(s) should i join?”
About the arson jokes, please keep them light-hearted and not too descriptive!
I think reading this will help: https://blogclan.katecary.co.uk/2023/09/23/state-of-the-blog-comments-and-flamethrowers/
(:
It had been DECADES since Queen Froggo came to the Hazelpage, in fact, was she even Queen anymore? It seemed her subjects like Flamilton and SIlverpaw had started that takeover. Perhaps, maybe a fight for the throne was in the distant future. Queen Froggo -or maybe just Froggo- still had access to the royal weapons, such as: The magical Frog Stanley, the gummi frog shooter, The Frogifier,and so forth. Maybe it was time for her to step down, to be like her fellow George Washington, who was the class clown in her preschool class, though no one believed her, it was true! So she faced her initial question: was it time to step down? She couldn’t even remember being appointed to queen, although, she remembered appointing herself. NO!! SHE WILL NOT STEP DOWN! SHE MUST FACE HER KINGDOM WITH PRIDE!! If it was a kingdom anymore…
Flamilton watches Queen Froggo’s slight mental breakdown with his magictastical, state-of-the-art Hand Binoculars. “Fascinating…” he mutters. “Boy, do I love my drama!”
“I AM CREATING A NEW WAR!” Jeffireson yells to the Hazelpage. “IT IS BETWEEN KAHOOT AND BLOOKET! I WILL PROUDLY LEAD ANYBODY WHO WISHES TO JOIN THE KAHOOT SIDE!”
Flamilton gasps for approximately 2 minutes straight. “BLOOKET SHALL FOREVER REIGN SUPREME!” they yell.
“SUPREME IS THE MOST OVERRATED WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!!!!” Jeffireson screams. “KAHOOT IS SUPERIOR TO BLOOKET!!!!!”
“NUH UH!” Flamilton objects. “CATNIP IS *obviously* THE MOST OVERRATED WORD FOOD THINGY D:<" they yell.
“NOOO KAHOOT IS THE BEST!” Jeffireson yells. “THOUGH I DO AGREE THAT CATNIP IS LARGELY OVERRATED!!!!”
YESSSS BLOOKET IS SO FUN!!!!!
“BLOOKET FOR LIFE!” Silvs yowls.
*I never played Kahoot as I am homeschooled :3
‘NOOOOOOO BLOOKET SUPREMACYYYYYY!!!!!!’, Darth Fallowfrie shouts.
“I’ve never played either of those!” Icemeadow exclaims. He thinks about whether this would be disloyal to the catnip side, as he not only signed a contract, but he has begun to love his side, and would remain loyal to it through thick and thin, contract or no contract. He decides, since it’s an entirely different war that Catnip is not fighting in, it would not affect his affiliation with the Catnip war, unless Catnip joined this war. Suddenly, he remembers something. “Wait! I think I played Blooket once during a Blogchat. I think. I’ll join the Blooket side!”
“NOOOO!!!” Fi screams.
“KAHOOOOOOOOT! ” Chi shrieked, taking out a pile of cheese sticks and cartoon-style throwing them at me
“YESSSS!!!” Jeffireson yells maniacally. “KAHOOT FOR LIFE!!!”
BLOOKETBLOOKETBLOOKETBLOOKET
KAHOOTKAHOOTKAHOOTKAHOOT
Lilykit creeps into the hazelpage “umm i havent been here for a while soo what chaosy thing is happening now?”
Flucifer materializes out of the shadows. “Why, chaos and bloodshed is what’s happening now, of course!” they grin maniacally.
“CHAOS AND BLOODSHED ARE ALWAYS THE SOLUTION!” Foampaw yowled while taking her friends around the HazelPage.
Redfawn carefully creeps into the Hazelpage, dodging flying cheese, fries, and catnip. “How have I not found this page before?” she wonders aloud. “And which side should I join?”
” join cheese or else” Chesea smiles
clover walks up to redfawn, holding her gaming set cautiously while dodging around the squabbling soldiers. “hello, fellow traveler. i see you’ve found the hazelpage. i’m new here too. i would suggest asking some more experienced warriors around, and in the meantime, do you want to talk with me?”
‘FRIES!!!’, Darth Fallowfrie exclaims while stuffing as much fries as possible in Redfawn’s mouth.
“I would recommend Catnip!” Icemeadow exclaims, materializing behind Redfawn. “We’re the objectively superior side, and we have cookies!”
“CATNIP cookies!” Jeffireson corrects Icepop. “The Triple-H side has REGULAR, NORMAL, GOOD-TASTING cookies!”
Flamilton cutely shoves Icy aside. “Might I suggest joining the Triple-H’s? We’re *obviously* the best, we’re the largest army, we have LOADS of Hamilton and Hazbin merch, and we have cookies AND brownies!” they grin, gesturing to a 50-foot pile of brownies and cookies. Then they casually steal about 5 of the brownies.
“HELLO MY MAGICTASICAL MENTOR!!” Foampaw raced over to Redfawn.
“Join the Triple H-Side with us! We have Husker plushies! And ice cream! And
soul-binding contractsColoring sheets! And so many Hamilton references! And karaoke! Honestly, I could go on forever.”“Well, I like ice cream, so I’ll join!” says Redfawn.
“Yip yip yooray!” Foampaw threw her arms up for a second.
“Ok, just sign here, and here….” She pulled out a contract
that totally doesn’t bind your soul’s loyalty to the triple H army for all of time.“No need to read fine print! It’s all boring technical stuff anyway!!”
“All right!” Redfawn completely ignores the fine print and signs the contract.
“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!” Jeffireson screams. “REDZ HAS JOINED THE TRIPLE-H’S!!!!!”
NO!!!! The catnip side has ice cream as well.” Silvs pulled a giant carton of ice cream from her backpack.
“But it’s catnip ice cream!” says Redfawn. “That’s worse than pistachio!” /j
“There are three wars going on currently: Cheese vs Fries (join Cheese with Cheeso as leader), Catnip vs the Triple-H’s, which is a combination of Hazbin Hotel and Hamilton (join the Triple-H’s with Flamilton as leader I think), and Kahoot vs Blooket (join Kahoot with ME as leader),” Jeffireson explains.
guysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Fav Jayfeather ships?
JAYFEATHER AND FUZZBALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
JAYCINDERRRRRRRR
JAYBRIARRRRRR
JAYBALLLLLLLLLLLL
Speedy mod
Alps peeks inside the room, then opens the door and strides inside in her business suit, sporting her best tie. “I hear there are free snacks here.” She announces, and continues in a lower voice: “Offer me your best food-based goods and I may consider joining your side in the war.”
side note: are there two separate wars going on here?
FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! Btw, we also have delicious tajin!
There are four and a half wars going on currently, I believe!
Cheese vs Fries (join cheese or else!)
Catnip vs the Triple-H’s, which is a combination of Hazbin Hotel and Hamilton (join the Triple-H’s or else!)
Kahoot vs Blooket (join Kahoot or else!)
I think Silvs created a 2NE1 side, which counts as half a war ig…
Cheese side is cheese, and catnip side = catnip and regular chocolate cookies, ice cream, catnip gummy bears, catnip waffles and pancakes, catnip, and catnip cinnamon rolls!!!
and there are several different wars. Catnip+TADC side+WolfClan side versus Triple h and crayons i think??
And Kahoot vs Blooket.
And Fries vs Cheese.
side note 2: are we still anthropomorphic cats?
“I am an expert cook, so I can make you anything! I could make all of your favorite food-based goods, and they would be EXQUISITE. We also serve Catnip Cookies, which are really good!
“Join the Triple-H side! We have karaoke, and ice cream, husker plushies, and actually good tasting cookies!! Plus water balloons supplied by my good friend Aaron Squirr, sir!” Foampaw replied, along with Apollo and Clover behind her.
“It’s actually pretty chill. We have an invisible tower where we spy on the others, I think.” Apollo said.
“And the karaoke is actually good, since most people here have choir experience/just have great voices.” Clover added.
i’m currently in an inner debate with myself about which side i should join. offer me your best products and i will consider joining. i am will be a valuable asset to your army, [and definitely won’t double cross you] i have experience with swords, and i like throwing food :]
JOIN BLOOKET