The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Shadow stared at all the comments, seeing that everyone was ordering drinks, and stopped.
“Can I get, um, hot chocolate?” She said awkwardly, trying to pretend she obviously knew everything about this. She hoped she hadn’t just embarrassed herself terribly.
Emberdawn grabbed a mug and made a cup of hot chocolate. “Here’s your hot chocolate!” She said to Shadow.
WAIT THERE ARE SIGGIES ON HERE FOR ME.
Sunpaw drank her cocotini, getting an idea. She grinned. Putting her volume on her phone on mute, she went to the center of the tavern and jumped on one of the tables.
“Ladies and gentlemen, you could’ve been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here tonight in New York City. Are you ready for a cabinet meeting?”
Sunpaw could feel eyes on her, but she continued.
“The issue on the table, Secretary Hamilton’s plan to assume state debt and establish a national bank. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir.”
She hoped someone would catch along. How many Hamilton fans were in this tavern, anyway?
Wishi wondered why she gets all the snob parts.
“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness
We fought for these ideals we shouldn’t settle for less
These are wise words, enterprising men quote ’em
Don’t act surprised, you guys, ’cause I wrote ’em (ow)
But Hamilton forgets
His plan would have the government assume state’s debts
Now, place your bets as to who that benefits
The very seat of government where Hamilton sits
Oh, if the shoe fits, wear it
If New York’s in debt why should Virginia bear it?
Uh, our debts are paid, I’m afraid
Don’t tax the South ’cause we got it made in the shade
In Virginia, we plant seeds in the ground
We create, you just wanna move our money around
This financial plan is an outrageous demand
And it’s too many dang pages for any man to understand
Stand with me in the land of the free and pray to God we never see Hamilton’s candidacy
Look, when Britain taxed our tea, we got frisky
Imagine what gon’ happen when you try to tax our whiskey.”
“No swearing!” Emberdawn called from the counter.
(that’s weird, I edited it and it didn’t register I copy-pasted and forgot sorry)
“Thank you, Secretary Jefferson. Secretary Hamilton, your response,” Sunpaw replied.
(Who’s gonna do it???)
(I did)
Dappy randomly started flossing and yelling “I BE FLOSSINNNNNNNNNNNNN!”
Wavey jumped onto a table and belted
“Thomas, that was a real nice declaration
Welcome to the present, we’re running a real nation
Would you like to join us, or stay mellow
Doin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?
If we assume the debts, the union gets new line of credit, a financial diuretic
How do you not get it, if we’re aggressive and competitive
The union gets a boost, you’d rather give it a sedative?
A civics lesson from a slaver, hey neighbor
Your debts are paid ’cause you don’t pay for labor
We plant seeds in the South. We create.Y eah, keep ranting
We know who’s really doing the planting
And another thing, Mr. Age of Enlightenment
Don’t lecture me about the war, you didn’t fight in it
You think I’m frightened of you, man?
We almost died in a trench
While you were off getting high with the French
Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the President
Reticent there isn’t a plan he doesn’t jettison
Madison, you’re mad as a hatter, son, take your medicine
Damn, you’re in worse shape than the national debt is in
Sittin’ there useless as two – nope, not sayin’ that
Hey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits.”
Fox Trot stood on a table, she just remembered Mean Girls and it made her happy so, she belted out some song lyrics
“Buddy it’s not pretend!”
“You are as plastic as they come!”
Fox Trot mumbled the next bit so Ember didn’t yell at her
“You think the rest of us are dumb”
“I hate Rigena’s guts, But here’s what you don’t comprehend”
“At least she has the guts, to not pretend to be my friend!”
“Janice, I’m….”
“No it’s FINEEEEEE!”
“Go be FINEEEEEE!”
“I am FINEEEEEEE!”
Fox trot paused for dramatic effect and to breath
“And I want my pink shirt!”
Fox trot then sat down and drawed
“Psst. Fox Trot” she edged over to them. “Happy llama, sad llama, mentally disturbed llama, super llama, drama llama, big fat LLAMA GOTCHA!” She turned her llamas into llama gotchas. “Gotcha,” she whispered, slinking off to her new target.
Fox Trot was extremely confused
Robin smirked, hearing Dappy’s llama song. “Actually it goes like this-” she got her llama hands ready- “Happy llama, sad llama, mentally disturbed llama, super llama, drama llama, big fat MAMA LLAMA!”
Then she realized that she was doing something she never did- contradicted someone. She decided to sing the greatest showman- rewrite the stars, because she was oon a roll, and if she thought about it too much, she wouldnt do it.
“You know I want you
It’s not a secret I try to hide
I know you want me
So don’t keep saying our hands are tied
You claim it’s not in the cards
Fate is pulling you miles away
And out of reach from me
But you’re here in my heart
So who can stop me if I decide
That you’re my destiny?
What if we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine
Nothing could keep us apart
You’d be the one I was meant to find
It’s up to you, and it’s up to me
No one can say what we get to be
So why don’t we rewrite the stars?
Maybe the world could be ours
Tonight.”
“Oh no. Valentine’s day is tomorrow.” Wishi thought to herself. She then began to mentally scream as she pictured all the times she had been shipped. “Someone help me I am literally DYING INSIDE~” she then realized she had said all that aloud and was getting odd looks from her peers.
Fox Trot placed a hand on Wishi’s shoulder, “Wishi I could say the same thing” then walked off with her eyes lightened at her amazing pun
Fox Trot why
“Thanks,” She said to Emberdawn, relieved she hadn’t messed up. She froze. What do I do now? And WHY did I order the first drink that came to my mind? She looked around. Ummmmmmm… She headed to a random table and awkwardly began sipping the hot chocolate. But she gasped as the hotness burned her tongue. I’m such an idiot I should have let it cool down and- Shadow realized the table she had sat at was Wishi’s table- Wishi, she thought, was the one who had just screamed about dying inside- and stared at her awkwardly. “Ummmmm… Oof?” she blurted, completely making a fool of herself.
Rose suddenly appeared once more, having left for nearly a week.
“Hey. Did you guys miss me or what?” She nonchalantly sipped her suspiciously red drink.
“Uhh, Rose, is that blood?” A still not fully recovered from the horrors of recalling being shipped Wishi asked.
Rose looked down, staring at her drink. “Hmmmmm…” She took a small square of paper from her pocket and gave herself a paper cut, then tasted the blood. She took another sip of the drink.
“Yep. Definitely blood.”
Shadow sat awkwardly in the chair at Wishi’s table. Wishi had made an… odd… comment. But that drink was suspicious. Wishi hadn’t said anything about her randomly accidentally sitting at her table, so Shadow replied. “Uh, yeah, we missed you a lot.” then Shadow realized how sarcastic her comment sounded and facepalmed.
Rose stood on the table dramatically, reacting to Shadow’s “sarcastic” comment.
“Woe is me! You DARE not-er-MISS ME?!”
She reached for her cup before realizing it was stolen, and hopping into the next comment under Navy’s.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” Shadow’s crazy instinctive defensive reaction screamed. “NO NO SORRY I REALLY MISSED YOU AND BLOGCLAN TOTALLY SUCKED WITHOUT YOU AND-” Shadow stood up immediately and accidentally spilled her very hot burning hot chocolate all over her and the floor and a few drops splashed onto Rose’s table. “Ummmmmmmm… Oof?” she said but Rose had already slapped her drink out of Navy’s hands. Shadow moved to the next comment.
Navy debated on whether she should listen to more Harry Potter.
The answer was yes.
She then decided to get drinks for everyone on the Hazelpage because RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS!
She also made a large poster displaying the words ‘ROLEPLAY IS A TYPE OF FRUIT’ proud that everyone now used her saying.
(She also stole Rosesong’s ‘suspicious possibly illegal may be a cup of blood drink’)
*wow*
Rose slapped the drink out of Navy’s hand. It spread over the floor, burning a hole in it.
“Uh, shouldn’t really drink that stuff if you ain’t a vampire. Suuuuuuper dangerous.”
Then she realized that she had just outed herself and facepalmed.
Navy pulled on a detective hat and pointed her finger accusingly at Rose.
“Caught red handed!”
She then laughed at her own joke.
The room was silent.
Spottedstream watched from her seat, silently correcting Rose. If you’re a vampire, definitely not like me, the first thing you do is put a lid on cups of blood.
Shadow stared at the hole. “Uh… Where does that hole go?” she said nervously.
“SO!” Navy screamed, pulling out an official looking clipboard with a pen attached to it.
“I’m taking a very important survey that you must answer truthfully even if it rips apart your soul!”
She glanced creepily at everyone around her, the looked back at the sheet of paper on the clipboard, readying her pen with the utmost importance.
“Do you think that roleplay is a variety of peach, a variety of apple or another type of fruit altogether?”
Rose wasn’t the least intimidated. Turning into human form, she slammed her hand down importantly.
“It obviously is a VARIETY OF THEM ALL! EQUALITY FOR ALL FRUITS/ROLEPLAYS IS IMPORTANT!!!”
“Another fruit!! Upon further research, it is likely that is in the grains genus, or maybe it’s a pod that contains beans like the cacao plant!”