The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board:
(OOC) Hi everyone! It's been a few weeks since the blog post about the arson jokes was made and we've been observing the Hazelpage during that time.
While the more extreme jokes that make BlogTeam genuinely concerned have died down, the frequency of general arson-related jokes have remained relatively the same on this page, and that could present an issue because the Hazelpage was one of the driving forces behind the evolution of the arson jokes. It wasn't talked about in the blog post because we felt that it wasn't as important as the overall message, but it nonetheless remains true. The Hazelpage historically has been a page where nonsense can be piled on top of other nonsense, and that loose atmosphere helped urge the arson jokes from a rare meme to a constant stream. There have been a couple of concerns raised to us about the Hazelpage and we're currently mulling over what to do with it. Unfortunately, there isn't thatmuch of an easy solution, which means that it's going to take time.
Since we don't want things to get out of hand during that time, we are going to keep all future comments on this page unmoderated. We don't want to keep people from commenting, but it's clear to us that the Hazelpage is going to need a little bit more work than the rest of the blog.
-Blogteam![[a full-body design of Emberdawn (RiverClan) walking and looking behind her]](https://blogclan.katecary.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/emberdawn-rc-lh-80x60.png)
![[a full-body design of Leafpool]](https://blogclan.katecary.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/leafpool_redo3_by_dawnheart101-dbc7zq2.png){kind=small}
![[a side profile design of Mapleshade walking with a grin]](https://blogclan.katecary.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/black_queen__mapleshade__by_bystarcat-daffx37.jpg)
The scent of death flits off a shady figure to the right. Rockpelt, who orders some Cola and investigates.
“Oh! Is this some sort of murder mystery?? If so, then I’m in!!” Shimmer shouts, grabbing popcorn out of thin air and sitting on a couch made of any snack you could ever think of. “So I don’t have to get up for snacks!” Shimmer explains, even though no-one needed an explination.
springkit eyes the couch hungrily and decides the couch needs more bombay potato crackers. She snaps her fingers, and 4 bags of potato crackers appears next to her.
“Springkit, do we really need those?” Hawkwhisker asked.
Hawkwhisker hid their 100% cacoa chocolate.
Springkit gives hawkwhisker a look. ¨Of COURSE we need them, have you ever even eaten one? They´re absolutely DIVINE.¨
“Ohhh finally something interesting is happening that I can watch!” Silvy plonked down on a bright yellow beanbag and opened a bag of cookies.
“Well well, finally something intresting.” Ember sits down on the couch and starts nibbling on the enchiladas that she stole from Viper. “Is it murder? Oh those are fun to watch!” Purrs menacing and steals a bag of chips from the nearest cat.
“Heyyyyyyyy!” Shimmers cried happily. “It’s a new page!” She bounced over to the counter, where all kinds of food were laid out. She scanned the cards with the ingredients until she spotted a vegetarian one with stuff she’d actually eat.
Shimmers glanced side to side and grabbed some food off the tray. “Yum!” she purred, taking a bite.
Twilightpaw bounded in and headed over to the counter to grab some chocolate, then joined Shimmers. “Want some?” Twilightpaw offered a chocolate bar to Shimmers. “For your dessert.” Twilightpaw then stared down at the chocolate, as if realizing something. “Oh yeah, we’re cats… is chocolate poisonous to cats? I know it’s to dogs. But who knows? Crazy and unexpected stuff happen on the Hazel page, on the previous page, I saw a cat asking for gum.” She gazed wistfully at her chocolate. “I love chocolate…”
Springkit, loud as always, shouts ¨ TO HECK WITH POISON ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE HAZELPAGE!¨
Shimmers quickly made the chocolate disappear so no one ate it.
Silvy quickly brought back the chocolates by replacing the magic potatoes with magic chocolates.
“Yeah, I just double-check…” Dawny said sadly “Chocolate is bad for cats” *eAtS THe FrEEkInG cHOcoLaTe* “Good thing this is the Hazelpage!”
“I’m not eating chocolate if I’m a cat!” Shimmers mewed, turning the chocolate into a cupcake. She then ate the not-chocolate cupcake.
“Well, since I’m technically not a cat-raven hybrid, I just look like one, I can eat this chocolate,” she said, grabbing a chocolate bar and popping it into her mouth.
Silvy grabs a little of everything.
Emberpaw grabs some popcorn and then purrs as she listens to everyone talk about chocolate. “We aren’t DOGS. I think we will live. I mean we do eat raw mouse on a daily basis, do we not?” Walks over to the couch and starts eating her popcorn which happens to be shapeshifting into 20 different things.
“Hey, has anyone seen Peck? Evil me?” Hawk questioned everyone on the hazelpage. “Evil me. Burned Hazelpage. Ring any bells?”
“N-no, I don’t think so… should I be worried about this???” Shimmer replied, instinctively grabbing a shield. From where, no one knows.
Springkit, from her position behind Shimmerpaw´s shield, pokes her head out ¨Nope they got buried in the last page. No more burning.¨ and discreetly kicks a flamethrower into a random black hole she summoned.
“But what if Peck followed us onto this page??” Shimmer asked glancing around and wondering how Springkit got behind her shield…
Springkit, knowing what shimmer was thinking replied cheerfully, ¨Oh I use my small size and creeped behind you to in front of you behind your shield. No one noticed, since I´m still the size of a kitten.¨
“Hawkie summon magic power to retrive things that have been thrown into the black hole. Hawkie shall use it as a mele thing. Me will not burn.”
“Oh, thank StarClan, no more fire,” Sparkpaw mewed, quickly backing away from Springkit’s black hole.
Springkit, remembering this was in the middle of the Hazelpage, quickly closes the black hole. ¨There, it´s safe now!¨
“Yes! THEY NEARLY DESTROYED US ALL!” Hawkwhisker shouted.
“I AM GOING TO SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE! NOTHING IS SAFE ANYMORE!!!” Ember trots over to the cupcake table an throws one at the nearest creature. “Springkit threw that!!” She leaps away, casting them all an evil smile as chaos eruputed.
>:3
Springkit gasps at the pure audacity of doing that, and she screeches ¨ IT WAS NOT ME! IT WAS EMBER! AND IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE ME I WILL SCREECH UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED¨
Ember chuckles and slumps into the couch, loving the drama as Springkit starts to screech
Turtle sits down in a pink bean bag. They put mair earbuds in, and start listening to Satisfied from Hamilton. Xe can’t resist humming along.
“Does anybody else like this song?” ot asks. “It’s one of my favorite Hamilton songs!”
MothPool Shipper“But what’s Hamilton?” Hawkwhisker asks.
“Ummm…” Shimmers said, tearing her gaze from the TV, where Hamilton was playing. “It’s a Broadway musical! It’s also on Disney+!” She flicked her tail at the screen.
Turtle explains, “It’s a musical written by Lin-Manuel Miranda about Alexander Hamilton. I used to hate it, but my family convinced me to watch it again, and I really liked it this time! It’s on Disney plus.”
MothPool Shipper“Of course I do!” Daydream yelled from across the room
Shimmers flopped on the carpet in front of the fireplace. “I’m so BORED!” she said, rolling over to let the heat spread evenly over her pelt. “Does anyone have any ideas for what to do?”
“Read?” Sparkpaw suggests. “Code? Write something? Draw? Play an instrument, if you play one? Sing? Do math? There’s also Pixel Perfect, but I have no idea how it works.”
“Hmm…,” Shimmers mewed thoughtfully. “Yes, I shall play my flute!” She made one of her flutes appear. It was labeled “Shimmy”.
Shimmers got a few strange looks from other cats sitting nearby. “My friends saw some of the possible nicknames for me on here,” she explained. “I told them that I didn’t want to be called ‘Shimmy’ and they took that and had me name one of my flutes that…”
“Commit arson,” hissed Raven evilly.
“NO!” Shimmers growled.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have any sort of chaos on this page?” Silvy suggested, yawning, “We could sit on the couch, eat cookies, drink sodas, watch youtube and take a short break.”
“That sounds like a good idea!” Shimmers mewed.
¨that sounds lovely¨ springkit sighs. ¨Only I´m not sure if the others will cooperate.¨
“Well it’s only for this page,” Silvy mewed, “So I don’t think anyone would mind. We can go back to doing the usual stuff the next page.”
“Hmmmm, that doesn’t seem like something I’d normally consider…” Rose flipped his newly cut hair, fingernails tip-tapping on the counter as ey thought this through. “Oh well! Might as well give it a shot!”
Leaning back, ey threw a shout to the mods, “Might I get a soda? I promise, I have ‘real money’ or whatever i is you’re taking.” Xe smiled wide, teeth glinting in the candelight.
“Go to Silverpe- Wait Silverpelt’s dead right now. Sorry, I don’t know.. Maybe wait for Silverpelt to be active again?”
Ember purrs and trots over. “If your so close to the fire, go ahead and light your pelt on fire,” Emberpaw mews evilily. Ember holds her cup of soda close and said, sorta-dreamily, “Chaos would be quite nice for a change.”
draw the Dark Forest
¨I have a idea!¨ Leopardkit says. Leopardkit throws a cupcake at Shimmers head. ¨FOOD FIGHT!¨
“HOW DARE YOU!” Shimmers roared. “THOU SHALT NOT THROW FOOD AT MY HEAD!” She clapped her paws menacingly and all of the food Leopardkit just threw whipped around and went back at Leopardkit. Shimmers quickly used her magic to create a shield around herself so that Leopardkit couldn’t retaliate.
“Hi! I have a scavenger hunt! And here is the 5th clue!” shouts Tiger, holding up a piece of paper that reads: “Firey Wings!”
“Wings of fire spoiler page!” Daydream murmured as she ordered a Milkshake
Shimmer looks around. “I think that we should go to Mars!” She shouts. “Who’s with me?!”
“Sorry, maybe next page?” Silvy mewed, “I’m too stuffed with cookies to do anything.” Silvy slowly closed her eyes as she leaned back into her beanbag.
“No!” Shimmers cried from where she was flopped in front of the fire. “As I have said before, Going to space changes the shape of your heart and stretches you out! No THANK YOU!”
Shimmers paused to think and then added, “And this is a page of relaxation! We decided on it!”
“Yes, now I shall end the world by multiple disasters! EVERYONE TO MARS!”
“YESSSS,” Lil shouts in agreement.
“NOPE!” Shimmers roared shoving Hawkwhisker into a gigantic box with holes in the sides that was labeled “No world destruction allowed here! (It’s literally not possible.)”
“There!” Shimmers mewed triumphantly. “If any part of you is in that box, your powers of destruction won’t work!” Then, she put some cupcakes, cookies, and layer sodas in the box along with a large stack of Warriors books so Hawkwhisker had something to do.
“You may come back out if you swear to not destroy the world! And that you won’t cause chaos for this page!” she mewed, flopping onto a teal beanbag next to Silvy’s.
Hawkwhisker knew how to overpower silvy, Not get in the box. They immeadetly yeeted themself onto silvy then tried to destroy the world. “YEET! I’m taking the clans with me, c’mon!”
“Poor Silvy!” Shimmers cried. She pulled Hawkwisker off of her friend and used magic to stop his wold destroying schemes.
“Whoah! What a speedy mod!” Shimmers cried, watching the blur of fur zoom past.
“I am pretty blurry,” Cheetah noted before losing her focus and accidentally zooming into a table.
“Hmm…” Shimmers said as Cheetah recovered her balance. “Take a layer soda! That should fix your blurry problem.”
“I do love me some soda!”
Hawkwhisker already had the car sized hail falling from the sky. “LET GO I’M GOING TO SPACEEEEE!!!”
“Oh?” She was getting kind of scared now.
Shimmers clapped her paws lazily and the hail disappeared before it hit anything. “You are NOT going to space!” she cried. “For one thing, you don’t have any materials you’ll need or a shelter in space. For another thing, how in the world are you going to get there?”
“Spaceship.”
“Where?” Shimmers asked. “I don’t see one in here or out there!” She pointed out the windows with her tails.
AAAAAAHAHAHA Daydream yelled
“Ouch,” Silvy muttered, then added, “But the yeet part was cool.”
“You can’t stuff me into a box!” Ember hisses, smiling. She leaps onto the biggest beanbag and screams “Time to rule the world and go to mars!!!”
“ARGGGG!!!” Shimmers cried. “This was supposed to be a chaos-free page!” She then dragged Ember off of the beanbag (which happened to be the teal one that Shimmers had been sitting on) and put her in the box.
“Not anymore!!” Emberpaw leaped up, did a twisty thingy and the box went soring on top of Shimmers. “AHA! I can’t be held captive!” Ember hisses eviliy, then grabs a random flamethrower and blasts some peeps. She leaps away and into her new Tesla, in which she starts her jornery to mars! (And no, she can not speed in here, the speed limit is 1 so this might take awhile.)
Shimmers clapped her paws again and the singed cats stopped being singed. “You go ahead to Mars, you won’t make it at the rate you’re going anyway!” she said.
OOOH MI FLIPPING GAWD YAS
springkit, dismayed, looks around because SHE KNOWS THIS WILL CAUSE CHAOS and this page was supposed to be a relaxing vacation
Swirly stood back and watched the chaos, eating some suspicious mozzarella and drinking a liquid that emitted a strange glow. “Man, gotta love the Viperdiner” she mewed.
“Oh well, too late now!” Shimmers mewed while stopping yet another of Hawkwhisker’s world domination plots.
Overjoyed, Daydream coughed up a piece of bubble wrap
”I’m fine”
Ember claps her paws and suddenly volcano’s start erupting from inside. “Yay! Lava!” Ember hisses cheerfully, letting world domiantion begin
a sleepy opalkit limps into the door, and falls asleep on the fluffest couch by the fire
“OPALKIT THERE IS CAR SIZED HAIL WITH SPIKES WE GOTTA GO!”
Twilightpaw groaned, making a shield pop out of nowhere and raised it over her head. “It’s so chaotic here sometimes. But car sized hail? “ she sighed.
Just then, a piece of car-sized hail crashed through the roof. “WE GOTTA GO!”
Ember smiled as the fire she was near melted all the hail. “Don’t forget the spikes!” She hissed, clapping her paws together making a stuffed deer mutiply and turn into a fox.
opalkit twisted, and groaned. Do you HAVE to wake me? She twitched her tail, and five-inch-thick diamond sheets appeared on the outside roof.
Creekkit pushes walks through the open door.
“Hello?” she meows “‘ve not been ‘ere before!”
“Oh YAY!” Shimmers cried, bouncing over. “A new person! Come, come!” She lead Creekkit over to a table full of rainbow cookies, cupcakes, and layer sodas for her to try. “We LOVE new people! The more people here, the more chaos! The more chaos, the more fun!”
creekkit opens mouth and monches a bit from every one of the cackes then falls asleep and dreams of chaos and rainbow unicorns
springkit, half conscious on a arrangement of blankets on the carpet before the fire, lazily lifts a hand. ¨hi, this is the hazelpage, usually there´s a lot more chaos but everyone agreed to have a vacation and be calm.¨
“Not everyone.” Ember grumbled, flicking her tail lazily from her place in front of the fire, where her red and back fur shone beautifly.
“Yeah. I didn’t say no chaos!” Leopardkit says, while throwing a hamburger at Springkit’s face.
“Hello hello! Welcome to the Hazelpage, the home of chaos,” Silvy mewed from her beanbag, “There’s all sorts of new chaos every new page and lots of foods especially porble cookies and cupcakes!”
Silvy yawned, “This is the first ever relaxing page on the Hazelpage, so there’s not as much explosions and stuff going on.”
Silvy rolled over on her beanbag to face Creekkit. “I may look very lazy at the moment, but I assure you, next page I’m going to be creating all sorts of chaos in no time and keep Shimmers busy.”
Shimmers sighed, sounding resigned. “Yes, you are…,” she mewed, eating another cupcake. “Then again, what would the Hazelpage be without chaos?”
“Well actually, I think there’s a little more chaos than usual from the cats who don’t want to relax, but feel free to just relax.
“Any food here? a jayburger maybe? i’m hungry! Monches on some mac and cheese that has fallen from the sky. NOM
Daydream pounced on shimmers. “U join McFlurryClan”
ANYONE ELSE INTRESTED???
“Hm, sounds nice…” Silvy murmured distractedly as she nibbled on yet another cookie.
“Ummmmmmmmmm…” Shimmers mewed, confsed. “Why me?”
“What is this McFlurryClan?” Twilightpaw murmured, sipping her milk tea. She stared sleepily at Daydream and Shimmers, then realized what was happening. She jumped up. “Uh… is this normal, or should I save Shimmers?” She pointed a paw at Daydream who was holding Shimmers hostage.
“Hmm… Nah,” Shimmers mewed in a conversational tone. “I’ll save myself, but thanks anyway!” She managed to clap her paws, and suddenly Dream was stuck in a beanbag far away from her.
Frost hummed as she quietly sat down on the sofa, holding a mha handbook.
Silvy sank down into her yellow beanbag even more and started feeling drowsy. She also waved one of her paws and forcefully sat everyone in different coloured beanbags so she could relax.
“I was already in a beanbag!” Shimmers mewed, looking down at the new beanbag she’d been put in. “I don’t liiiiiiiiiiike the color green, though!” she whined, changing it back to teal.
¨Hi!¨ Leopardkit says as she crawls out from under the couch Frost was on.
“hoi!”
Daydream flopped on the couch by Frost “Sooo, ya wanna be deputy of McFlurryClan?” She asked
“Um, no thanks. I want to cause chaos.” Leopardkit says still under the couch.
“McFlurryClan does cause chaos!”
“Although you might have to step outside to cause chaos”
Would YOU like to be senior warrior or med cat of Randomclan. If u say no i will cause war between the two clans by throwing a stale cake in your face
“Nope!” Leopardkit says while thinking She said if I say ‘no’ she would cause war. I said ‘Nope!’ Also, I want to know how it fells like if someone throws a cake in your face.